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My 6 top tips to live a happier life - and they are all free!

30/6/2014

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So many of my clients and friends will say they want to feel happier but simply don’t know how to achieve it.

I’ve been coaching from the science of Positive Psychology for a number of years now and I get to witness the significant benefits that those interventions bring towards feeling happier and creating more wellness. All of these interventions are free and accessible to anyone, so I wanted to share the tools that I see having powerful positive impacts in the hope they may help you too.

Our brains are wired to notice what is wrong. This was an important evolutionary tool for the survival of our species, however, it doesn’t serve us such a useful purpose today. Having this natural bias towards noticing the bad things is not good for our overall feelings of happiness and wellbeing. To counter-balance this it helps to do intentional activities that create new wiring in our brains to also notice what is good. Over time you will start to ‘accidentally’ notice more good, which helps boost your mood and happiness.                      

With that background, these interventions help to build new wiring in your brain that notices the good and also builds positive emotions to fuel your brain for good. Here’s my top 6 free interventions to achieve that: 

1.       Gratitude
At the end of every day, pause to reflect on what’s gone well and what you have to be grateful for. Then write down your three things that you’re most grateful for in the day. On a really tough day, when you may feel that you’ve got nothing to be grateful for, you could consider things like being grateful for clean water. However, the more specific you can be, the better. You might consider the lovely conversation you had with a co-worker or that your children were ready for school without being asked or the shop assistant who complimented your new shirt. If you are not much of a writer then you may prefer to use a free online journal, called ‘Oh Life’ (www.ohlife.com). Every night you will receive an email from Oh Life asking you about your day, I simply write what I’m grateful for in the day and email it back. My replies are stored on my secure online diary which I can look back on at any time.

2.       Discover a greater meaning and purpose in life
What is it that gives you meaning in your life? Todd Kashdan, an expert on meaning and curiosity, says meaning is about gaining insight into what to do and what not to do when you’re faced with life decisions, big and small. Todd suggests creating a future that is in sync with your deepest values and interests, and intentionally using curiosity as the ultimate tool that will help you knit together the future you desire. Purpose is a special type of meaning – a philosophy of life – a compass that sets the direction for your life’s journey. People with a greater sense of purpose live longer, so it’s worth understanding your purpose. You don’t have to simply ‘find’ it, you can create it. Think about what gets you out of bed in the morning. What goal would you love to accomplish? Define it, write a goal and set about achieving it – it’s likely that you will feel better and live longer because of it.

3.       Friendships and belonging
We are social creatures, we thrive being around others and feeling like we belong. Nurturing friendships and investing in them is very worthwhile. Belonging to a group is very good for our happiness and wellbeing – you could join a sporting club, a church, book reading club or bird watching group. Whatever you enjoy, find a group of likeminded people and belong.

4.       Good food and exercise
I know you’ve heard this many times before but it can’t be left out if we are talking about overall wellbeing and happiness. It’s so important we fuel our brains with good nutrition to allow it to function properly. We’ve known for a long time the importance of exercise for our hearts but it also greatly benefits our brain. During exercise we release endorphins that are a good-feel fuel for our brains. Getting active has so many mental and physical benefits – I can’t stress enough the benefits of getting moving.

5.       Use your strengths
Know what your greatest strengths are, then intentionally use them more often. The research supports we have increased wellbeing when we play to our strengths. If you’re not clear what yours are, take this free survey to understand your character strengths and your preference for using them. If you use your top strengths in a new way you will increase your happiness and decrease depression for six months. It’s such an empowering way to approach your work and your life by playing to your top strengths.

6.       Be playful
No matter how old you are, you’re never too old to be playful. Having fun with friends or watching a funny movie will boost your mood, help you have greater health and happiness and even help you to live longer. It’s really important to get more playful, have more fun and laugh more often.

There you go, try these things and see how you feel. Some may resonate more with you more than others, that’s OK, we are all different. Use the ones that feel best and you will reap the benefits. I wish for you to live a happier life – and I hope my wish comes true.


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Top 5 excuses for not exercising or eating well

26/2/2013

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As a life coach, I spend quite a bit of my time helping people
to set goals. When it comes to diet and exercise, I hear some common excuses for not reaching those goals. Here’s my top five, and some suggestions for overcoming them. 
1.  "I don't have the time"/"I'm too busy." This is the number one excuse for not exercising or eating well. Yet somehow we can find time to watch Master Chef or X-Factor. The reality is that we CAN and DO find time for the things that we want to find time for. It helps to make exercise and good eating a part of your everyday routine, rather than viewing it as something extra that you have to do. Thinking that “I need to diet” or “I have to get fit” has an association that it is a temporary thing that you do and then it’s finished. Practice shifting your thinking to making this a part of who you are and what you do; for life. This can be helped by incorporating exercise into your daily life, not as an add-on. Walk to the shops. Ride to work. Take the stairs.  Find healthy foods that you love, and enjoy them. 
 
2.  "I can’t afford it.” You don’t actually need a gym membership to exercise. It  doesn't cost a thing to move your body. You can get moving outdoors free of charge. Walk, ride or swim in your own neighbourhood without spending a cent. It may help your motivation to have a friend with you. And there’s plenty of free online fitness tool. Ask yourself, “Is telling yourself that you can’t afford it a reality or a handy excuse?” 
3.  "I'm too tired." Exercise actually gives you more energy! It also boosts your mood, combats health conditions and diseases and helps you to sleep better. The irony is that if you feel too tired to exercise, it’s probably because you’re not exercising. Try to keep your focus on the numerous benefits of exercise to help give you that motivation to get started. 
4.  "I feel overwhelmed with where to start." If it feels overwhelming, start REALLY small. Begin with a walk around the block. Slowly add a little longer to the walk each time, nothing much, only another  couple of minutes. Sometimes when we look too far ahead, to where we want to be, it seems overwhelming. It helps to bring it right back to one achievable, small goal, followed by another. Before you know it, you’ve reached your big goal. 
5.  "I feel so deprived when I diet!" Dr Martin Seligman tells us that 90% of people who diet put the weight back on within three years. Why? Often the focus becomes on what is being missed out on, rather than what is being gained. You deserve to be happy, healthy and comfortable in your body.  As with starting off exercising, start small. Don’t cut out everything that you love or you increase your chances of resenting it. Rather, look at it as a permanent change in lifestyle. You can permanently eat smaller portions, low fat
and exercise regularly.  
Further tips for success:        
- Write down all your reasons for wanting to get fit and/or lose weight. Keep it visible and review it daily.        
- Set realistic goals that you can achieve. Start with small goals, reach them, and then add to them.        
- Notice more than just the weight loss. Also notice how you feel, how your skin looks, the quality of your sleep etc.        
- Visualise yourself at your healthiest best. Picture with as much detail as possible – how you feel, how you look, how you act, how you move etc.        
- Everyone has slip-ups along the way. Use them as an opportunity to learn, forgive yourself, and simply get back on with it.        
- Celebrate your achievements along the way. Don’t wait until the big end goal, note milestones along the way and celebrate each one.



  


  



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    Stephanie Noon is a Life Coach with a passion for helping people to live a fulfilling and energised life.
    Find out more about her here.

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